it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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