Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
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What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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