Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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