Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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