like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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