i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
