Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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