Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
