Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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