Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize