I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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