I bet he comes in French.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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