Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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