I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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