i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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