Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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