i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
