it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You're like the curious george of whores
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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