So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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