I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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