We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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