so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
