I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
