I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
