when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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