Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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