the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
