Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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