he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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