Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
