my mouth tastes like poor choices
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
