Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
