I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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