Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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