she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
40s are totally the cure
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize