you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
