he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
