What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
