Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
