if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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