i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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