turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
