Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
