I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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