Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's the barista slut.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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