When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
