I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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