If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
