i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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