do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
