I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
