oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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