umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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