i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
