weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
