I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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