i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
