question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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