I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
