New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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