Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize