youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
