Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You ruined the universe
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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