I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
