Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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