she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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