I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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