We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
