i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
