im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
