I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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